Brusha, brusha, brusha

I can't stand buying toothpaste.

When I get to that aisle, I'm immediately overwhelmed by all the choices. I can never remember if I want Colgate or Crest... Their names are too similar.

And then I can't remember if I want paste or gel. I know I hate the pop-top toothpaste because that always gets that awful glob of dried toothpaste at the top, but I can't tell from the box whether it's a pop top or a twist top. So, the only way to tell is to open the box, which is unseemly and time consuming.

Once I've resigned myself to the pop-top crap shoot, I stare blindly at the prices. There's always five or six different sales. Buy one get one free. Buy one get half off. Buy two and get a rebate for half the cost. You need to understand calculus in order to figure out the best deal... Oh, excuse me sir for blocking your way. I'm preoccupied with entering all these price variables in my graphing calculator...

I'm hoping someone will hear my plea and open up a medium market that has fewer brands. That would make my life a lot easier.